Interview in the women’s magazine FÜR SIE – Sensual Companion Sascha.
Sascha works as a sensual companion and escort. For him, it is so much more than sex.
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English Translation, Interview Women's Magazine FÜR SIE
Most women who search for an escort like him on the internet enter the term “gigolo”. However, Sascha finds this term difficult – after all, at 50 he is no longer a callboy or gigolo.
Escort he finds more appropriate. “But even that doesn’t go far enough,” he says. “My work is multi-faceted, the dates with the women clients are very different. That’s why I created the term ‘sensual companion’ – that probably sums it up best for me.”
Sascha, whose real name is Sascha and not a pseudonym like many of his colleagues, is an open guy with smiling blue eyes. He has no problem talking about what he does. On the contrary. He wants to dispel clichés and help break the taboo that it is not proper for women to pay for closeness, touch and sex. “Men think about it much less. But for women, it takes a lot of courage to click on the ‘Request’ button on my site.” Sascha doesn’t want to reveal how long he has been doing the job. He says that people in his line of work don’t talk about that, just as they don’t talk about the number of clients.
He got the idea to set up his own business as a sensual companion in addition to his main job in management consulting after he got out of a long relationship. During that time, he had many dates and realised how much he enjoys meeting women and having deep conversations with them. “I often got to hear: ‘Conversations with you feel so different from other men, not so clumsy.’ One woman half-jokingly said: ‘You should do this professionally.’ And so I actually started thinking about escorting.”
In German-speaking countries, there are about 30 to 40 men who can be booked via internet platforms like callboyz.net. There they present themselves with photos, give their height, weight and star sign and talk about hobbies and values. The prices for body-related services – under which the escort business is registered with the trade licensing office – can also be viewed there. So that no one has to book a pig in a poke, there is a rating system and the possibility for feedback.
and the possibility for feedback. Sascha has all five stars across the board (you can read the interview with a woman client below at the end).
From 200 euros, you can get him as a companion for two hours. However, that is only social time. “If it’s clear that it’s about sensuality, tenderness, intimacy – we call it “sweet time” – then it’s 300 euros for two hours, which can also be extended spontaneously for a lower extra fee,” says Sascha. An evening with an overnight stay starts at 700 euros, and everything beyond that, such as weekends together or holiday companionship, is charged as a lump sum. The money, he says, is handed over quite oldschool in an envelope. Nevertheless, he has never felt like a pure service provider.
“For one thing, the financial aspects quickly fade into the background. And for another, I feel free
in my decisions. If, for whatever reason, a woman doesn’t suit me, it wouldn’t even come to a meeting. However, that has never been the case.” Sascha, who works in German-speaking countries, Mallorca and all over Europe, can still remember his first booking well.
“It was a totally likeable encounter, but if it had been a private date, I probably wouldn’t have initiated anything more.
When it developed into intimacy, however, it also felt completely coherent to me, simply because we had such an intense conversation.
I really enjoy always discovering what is special and inspiring about a woman.
And that, I think, is also what you need in this work: An interest in people – and not just as a means to an end.” For him, he says, what he does is not a profession, but a vocation.
Sascha’s clients are on average between 35 and 60. There is no such thing as a fixed schedule for the bookings. Often the evening begins with dinner or a walk. Sometimes the meeting takes place directly in the hotel or at the client’s home. What the women who come to him are looking for can easily be summed up for Sascha: Closeness.
Some of his female clients are in long-term relationships and are literally no longer touched by their husbands, or they experience sex as something very unsatisfying. “The women want to be appreciated, to experience tenderness and lightness. Many feel little self-love, are insecure with themselves and their bodies. They want support to better access their own sensuality and pleasure.” Sex in the sense of penetration, he says, is often not the focus of the meetings at all. “There are women who think: ‘Now I’ve booked myself an escort, now we have to have sex too.’ But it’s not like that. I deliberately keep it open.
I like getting to know each other, building up the conversation, this tuning in to each other. They are very mindful encounters every time.”
Sascha’s family, his mother, his siblings and also his adult daughter, know about the side job. “I didn’t hide anything from the beginning. My mother and daughter, unlike some friends, didn’t ask with particular interest, but they didn’t get a shock either.” He had also let his partner in on his plans early on. For both of them and their relationship, he says, the topic is an exciting learning field. “My girlfriend is good at dealing with it. Nevertheless, it always requires discussions. Basically, however, she finds what I do less threatening than, for example, an open relationship where she cannot assess where her position is at the moment. Because in
my work as a companion, the framework is clear for everyone involved: it’s not about love and partnership, but about encounter and closeness, and the whole thing has to do with a financial contribution.” Whether a woman could also fall in love with him one day – who knows? As far as Sascha is concerned, however, that doesn’t happen: “My rules are fixed.”
The last time the subject of escort came to the attention of the general public was a year ago with the film “My hours with Leo”. Retired and widowed teacher Nancy, played by Oscar winner Emma Thompson, never had good sex during her marriage. Before it’s too late, she wants to change that and hires Escort Leo. Rather than sex and exciting positions, the film is about loneliness and female shame: shame for one’s own body, one’s own lust.
Sascha likes the film. He says it realistically reflects his experiences with the clients: their nervousness, their insecurities, their longings.
“Every woman has something special, something sensual. That’s exactly what I want to convey to them.”
The fact that there is far too little talk about physical needs in relationships, as the film’s character
Nancy experienced in her marriage, Sascha has become even more aware through his work,
he says. “Many relationships are not alive because there is so much silence. People arrange themselves, live lovelessly side by side.
Yet touch is so important for us humans! Why don’t we take better care of ourselves?
It doesn’t have to be an escort, there are many possibilities.”
KATI (61), SELF-EMPLOYED MASSAGE THERAPIST
“I feel stronger and more confident”.
Kati is one of Sascha’s regular clients. She likes his calmness and that he is a good listener. She has rediscovered her body and her desire through him.
How did you get the idea to book an escort?
I was stuck in an unhappy relationship for a long time. After I broke up, I had a few dates, some of which turned into relationships. But somehow they didn’t fulfil me, mentally or sexually. It was frustrating,
and I came to the conclusion that I didn’t want a traditional couple relationship anymore. I wanted to try something new.
I wanted to try something new.
Had you met other escorts before Sascha?
No, Sascha was my first. A friend had recommended him to me. She told me about her very positive
sensual experiences with him and said that we would certainly harmonise on many levels.
Are the meetings mainly about sex?
Not only. Especially on our first date, I wanted to keep it open and not overextend myself. Before we met, we had a written exchange and Sascha told me that there was no plan for our date and that every date is unique. That took the pressure off me. First and foremost, I felt like
for stimulating conversation, maybe kisses and touching. Sex only if I can open up.
How often do you meet Sascha?
Far too rarely (laughs). About every four to six weeks. What I particularly like about him is this mixture of empathy and masculinity.
Does your friends know that you book an escort?
In the meantime, I have told a few close, open-minded friends about it. I’m taking a new path, I’m learning more about myself, about my sensuality and my needs. I think that by talking about it, I can help other women, encourage them that not everything in their lives always has to stay the way it is.
The fact that women over 50 also have sexual desires is still a taboo. Unfortunately. We talk a lot about equality and emancipation. But when it comes to our sexuality, there is a lack of social acceptance. I can only report positive things about my journey:
I feel stronger, more self-confident and much more in touch with myself than before.
Source: women’s magazine FÜR SIE – issue 17/2023, page 88-91, publication date 19.07.2023.
Original file article as PDF:
Women’s Magazine FÜR SIE
Magazine Edition, print, approx. 170,000 numbers
FÜR SIE e-paper subscription issue 17/2023, pages 88-91
Instagram Sascha: new.masculinity